|
|
July 31, 2005A poll for CatholicsI apologize to all of my Protestant/Jewish/Agnostic friends, but this one is for the Catholics, alone; I need to get something clear in my head. I may or may not write something about it later…depending, of course, on whether my head ever does get clear! Catholics: A Few Simple Questions: - you can leave your answers in the comments section or email me at: theanchoress@gmail.com. 1) A few minutes before Mass begins, are you: a) praying/reading 2) Sign of Peace: a) I love it and look forward to greeting my neighbors 3) Holding Hands during the Our Father a) I love it - it’s so unifying 4) The Ushers at your parish DO or DO NOT greet you and shake your hand as you are exiting your pew for Communion: If they DO: a) I like it - it’s friendly. If they DO NOT: a) I wish they would! I’d really appreciate it if you could take just the few minutes necessary to answer these questions. I’m not telling my own preferences until ya’ll do! Feel free to expound on your answers, if you like! Thank you. UPDATE: Due to the huge volume of responses, please forgive me if I am not able to answer each email individually. Just now, my email box is exploding! http://theanchoressonline.com/2005/07/31/a-poll-for-catholics/trackback/ 30 Responses to “A poll for Catholics” |
July 31st, 2005 at 10:18 pm
1) A few minutes before Mass begins, are you:
a) praying/reading
2) Sign of Peace:
b) I hate it and wish it would go away or be moved to the start of Mass
To be more precise I think it has become an awkward insertion into the flow of the prayer of the Mass, especially since many go out of their way to shake the hands of everybody. The sign of peace can actually be omitted from the Mass and is not required. I once went to a Dominican parish that omitted it and I saw just how much better the Mass flowed without it.
3) Holding Hands during the Our Father
b) I hate it, find it intrusive and wish people would stop doing it.
This was something that started from the Catholic charismatic movement. It has amazed me that actual rubrics from the GIRM are ignored but stuff that has been made up along the way has been normative.
4) The Ushers at your parish DO or DO NOT greet you and shake your hand as you are exiting your pew for Communion:
If they DO NOT:
c) I don’t really care
This I would have no problem with as long as it doesn’t get out of hand.
July 31st, 2005 at 10:43 pm
help her out, take the poll
The Anchoress ? A poll for Catholics…
July 31st, 2005 at 10:44 pm
1) A few minutes before Mass begins, are you:
a) praying or sitting quietly
2) Sign of Peace:
c) I don’t love it or hate it.
3) Holding Hands during the Our Father
b) I hate it, find it intrusive and wish people would stop doing it. Our family shows our refusal by individually folding our hands in prayer.
4) The Ushers at your parish DO or DO NOT greet you and shake your hand as you are exiting your pew for Communion:
DO NOT, unless they happen to know someone, in which case a friendly nod is exchanged but that is it.
If they DO NOT:
b) Please, God, don’t give them ideas! I am thinking about the Eucharist, not wanting to repeat the sign of peace at that point.
July 31st, 2005 at 10:46 pm
1) Just before Mass
a) Praying
(Actually - Might be corralling the kids, but silently). For me and mine, if there is any chatting, it’s outside *before* we come inside. Now, as for the others in the parish….
2) Sign of Peace
c) Neutral, as long as it’s a bit controlled (as in self-control). Going across the church to greet a friend or going around to (even if possible) give the sign of peace to everyone there is too much and distracts from the Mass.
3) Holding Hands during the Lord’s Prayer.
b) Hate it
Actually, technically I can’t tell you how widespread it is during Mass be cause I intentionally close my eyes to avoid “those” glances and hands being offered. (I also avoid getting angry at others behavior).
4) Ushers greeting me?
c) Don’t care much.
I’ve seen this and it tends to focus too much on *them* and not on where we’re going. It’s like a receiving line. Maybe a smile and eye contact would be good enough.
July 31st, 2005 at 11:24 pm
Before mass:
a)Usually praying, then sitting quietly.
b)Sign of Peace - If it were omitted, it wouldn’t bother me, but when it is there, I usually get into it and shake hands (just like I try to put effort into singing the songs, even the ones that have “I” all over the place in them,) but only with those people in my direct vicinity. I hug my husband and other family members. A really orthodox priest I know, who serves in an impoverished neighborhood, said he thought parishoners at his parish should shake hands during the sign of peace because the poor people who visit the church (the Missionaries of Charity have a soup kitchen there) might think they were being snubbed. If I were a visitor and someone refused to shake my hand, I could see me thinking that, especially if I didn’t feel that comfortable being there in the first place.
Holding Hands During Our Father:
I don’t like it, mainly because I have always understood this is not part of the rubrics. I try to fold my hands and pray first, but if someone insists on holding my hand (a person literally smacked my hand one time to get me to hold hers), I go ahead and do it out of charity.
4) They don’t do it, and no, let’s not give them any ideas.
Related to what CJ said, why is that priests will call people down for genuflecting before receiving communion, but not do the same calling down of the hand-holding during the Our Father?
This was not a question on your poll, but one thing that bugs the heck out of me is people talking before mass, and people talking when they leave. I think it is rude to Jesus, who is present, and insensitive to those who want to pray before and after mass.
July 31st, 2005 at 11:25 pm
1. A few minutes before Mass I sometimes pray quietly and sometimes sit quietly. Honestly, it depends on my mood and the day.
2. I don’t love or hate the sign of peace. I wouldn’t mind if they did away with it. But since the Mass is the community of faithful coming together to worship, I suppose it does help foster that community to be a bit more inclusive of others near us.
3. I enjoy the holding hands during the Our Father. My husband, the convert, loves it as well, which surprises me a bit as he is a private person.
4. Our ushers do not greet or shake hands with us as we leave the pew for communion. I wouldn’t like it at all if they did. I don’t want anything to interfere with my focus on receiving Holy Communion.
July 31st, 2005 at 11:27 pm
1)a, 2)b,(I swear, in Winter I always get the guy who just sneezed into his hand) 3)b(actually, it is not done in my Parish),and 4)They do not and b.
July 31st, 2005 at 11:44 pm
1. depends on how early I arrive. Normally I c. pray, but I confess, sometimes I finish my prayers and find I’m just sitting there.
2. c. I don’t mind it as long as people aren’t roaming all over the church and crossing the aisle to say hi to people. I certainly wouldn’t mind if they dropped it.
However, recently I was at a Mass where the kid in front of me was sneezing and coughing into his hand - the same hand he gave me during the Sign of Peace. That bothered me tremendously, especially after I shook it and realized that I’d be holding Communion in that hand in a few minutes.
3. We don’t hold hands during the Our Father - thank goodness! People do assume this strange (to me) posture of holding their palms upward. It’s not universal though, and I pray the Our Father with my hands folded in the usual prayer position.
4. They do not, and please don’t give them ideas!
The thing I hate the most is the practice I’ve seen at my old childhood parish, where after the Our Father, everyone extends their right hand upward. Suddenly the place looks like the Nuremberg rally. It really gives me the creeps and I’m very glad it’s not done at my parish.
August 1st, 2005 at 8:02 am
1). A few minutes before Mass, I am praying. 2). It’s not that I “hate” the Sign of Peace, but I don’t really like it. I agree with the comment above that it seems to interrupt the flow of the Mass, plus I know for a fact that members of my family have becaome ill from touching other people’s hands and then going on to receive Communion. When one of us is sick, we simply just smile and nod - but then people look at you like you’re being rude! 3) Our family used to hold hands, which was a sign of unity in my mind, and I liked that (but, if one of us hand a cold, we didn’t do it). Now, our church wants us to hold our hands upright. It’s okay, but I preferred it the other way; however, I didn’t really like the practice in other churches of the whole congregation holding hands - again, the illness issue. (Perhaps I should explain - my oldest is on immunosuppressant meds and is very succeptible to illneses, and gets very ill as a result). 4) I’ve never heard of this practice, so obviously it’s not done at our church. And, I wouldn’t really like it because I am concentrating on what is about to happen.
August 1st, 2005 at 9:44 am
1. BEFORE MASS. Praying a little, sitting a little, talking with our 11-year-old daughter a little. I guess that’s “a” and “c,” but not “b” because talking with our daughter is not like talking with a neighboring pew person.
2. SIGN OF PEACE. “a.” I like it, liturgically. I DO NOT LIKE shaking hands and greeting others before Mass begins. (Incidentally, my wife and I met when we happened to sit next to each other at church. Our first words to each other were, “The peace of Christ be with you” at the exchange of peace. We repeat them every day as part of our family morning prayers.
3. HAND HOLDING DURING ‘OUR FATHER.’ Closer to neutral on this one, but surprisingly (to me) I like it on balance — as long the overall context remains prayerful rather than social. This varies with the church. Color me “c,” but trim it with “a.”
4. USHERS SHAKING HANDS AS WE PEEL OFF FOR COMMUNION. Yuk. I’ve never encountered that. Never want to. That’s a big fat Option-Two “b” for me.
August 1st, 2005 at 10:16 am
1) Hmmm…how about d) depends on the day. I’ve done all three, and various combinations of the three. And I’ve been late, too, which would be e) none of the above.
2) Sign of Peace: c. Well, I don’t hate it, but it’s about all my comfort zone can handle. Keep it short and sweet and stay in your pew. No need to wander around seeking people out.
3) No one does that here, but I’ve experienced it at parishes I’ve visited and I loathe it. Loathe. Hate. But I have serious issues with being touched by people I don’t know. The handshake/peace thingy is about all I can handle without going into panic mode.
4) The Ushers at your parish DO or DO NOT greet you and shake your hand as you are exiting your pew for Communion:
I have never, ever seen this anywhere, and we’re talkin’ more than half the states, two South American countries, several island communities, and at least half a dozen European countries. I actually re-read this to see if you meant greet at the door when one first arrives at Mass. I can’t imagine this is a practical thing for larger parishes. It also seems totally pointless. Big huge “huh?” from me on that one.
August 1st, 2005 at 10:30 am
Anchoress, though I am not a member of the Catholic Church I have always had a respect for the faith and the holy manner of worship and respect it shows toward Christ. I have felt God’s Spirit as a presence in the Catholic sanctuaries that I have been within in the past. My experience with Mass is limited to what was done 30+ years ago so I am not aware of the sign of peace that you mention or of holding hands during the Lord’s Prayer. Sounds so non-Catholic to me based on my experience. I find the answers interesting thus far and await your analysis with interest.
I believe we Christians need to try to respect each other and realize that each faith differs in how we order our worship of God and His Son. We may not agree in doctrine, but respect for each others order of worship is a constant that ought to be maintained. As Christ told His disciples; those that preach Christ are not against us but with us.
Mr 9:38 Now John answered Him, saying, “Teacher, we saw someone who does not follow us casting out demons in Your name, and we forbade him because he does not follow us.”
39 But Jesus said, “Do not forbid him, for no one who works a miracle in My name can soon afterward speak evil of Me.
40 “For he who is not against us is on our side.
41 “For whoever gives you a cup of water to drink in My name, because you belong to Christ, assuredly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.(NKJV)
There has been too much hatred aimed at one another in Christendom, especially between Catholic and Protestant. We all stand before our Lord Christ and will personally answer to Him. May His grace and peace be with you, yours in Christ, TS.
August 1st, 2005 at 10:43 am
Just learned how to login, so here’s a copy of the email I sent earlier. All of your comments are so interesting!
1) A few minutes before Mass begins, are you:
c) simply sitting quietly
2) Sign of Peace:
b) I hate it and wish it would go away or be moved to the start of Mass
3) Holding Hands during the Our Father
b) I hate it, find it intrusive and wish people would stop doing it. We don’t hold hands, but some people extend their hands with palms upward. They look like they are posing for holy pictures – how did this silly practice get started?
4) The Ushers at my parish DO NOT greet you and shake your hand as you are exiting your pew for Communion: If they DO NOT:b) Please, God, don’t give them ideas!
P.S. I wish you had included a question about applause in church., e.g., when a couple is married, a baby is baptized, first communion. I find it juvenile and offensive.
BTW, the common thread in these questions seems to be the dumbing down of Catholicism with touchy-feely symbolism. Would you agree?
———
Second thought since sending the email: isn’t there also a common thread of NARCISSISM (Look at MEEEEEEEEEE!)in each of these practices?
Best to all
August 1st, 2005 at 10:50 am
) A few minutes before Mass begins, are you: A
2) Sign of Peace: A
3) Holding Hands during the Our Father:C
4) The Ushers at your parish DO or DO NOT greet you and shake your hand as you are exiting your pew for Communion: Do Not,second part: B
My comments on this are thus: I go to Mass to participate in the divine worship of the final sacrifice needed between God and man. Why would I let the external nuances of the fellow-particpants, who are also my fellow priests, bother me? Of course their are the rubrics to maintain control over the Mass and they should be followed. If I am at a Mass where hands are held, I will hold my fellow Catholics hands, if not, then I am happy to pray the prayer as fervently as I can.
August 1st, 2005 at 11:01 am
1) For daily Mass, a. Sunday Mass, I usually have tasks to perform, which I try to do in a reverent manner and with minimal conversation.
2) b. At my parish we have a greeting of neighbors just before the start of Mass, and then at the usual time, the sign of peace.
3) b. I also do not care for the upraised hands gesture, which I have seen carried to such extremes that it resembled something one might see after a touchdown.
4) At our parish the ushers are not called upon to play a role in
the reception of Holy Communion. If that were to change, my answer would be b.
August 1st, 2005 at 11:13 am
1) a then c - from prayer to contemplation.
2) c - although I’m happy to do it. I do wish people clustered up front a little more, since in my parish, for me, it usually ends up being more of wave of peace.
3) b. I used to do it when I was in a Parish that did it (pentacostal revivalist thing back in the mid-90s), but I find it lame now - an externalized substitute for those people for whom the interior motion is not enough. It should be called: “Let’s pretend to be Protestants”
4) Do not, don’t care. I shake hands with the priest on the way out, unless he is busy, is all.
August 1st, 2005 at 12:02 pm
1) A few minutes before Mass begins, are you:
a) praying/reading
Or if I get there early enough and finish whatever I have to pray about, I’ll sit down and start doing c.
2) Sign of Peace:
c) I don’t love it or hate it.
That being said, how many of us single folks have intentionally sat next to or near an attractive MOS in order to give him/her the sign of peace? I actually try not to, as it can distract me from the reason for being at Mass, but I have to admit to having done it a few times. It’s about the closest thing to social interaction offered to many Catholics. How else are you going to “introduce” yourself to that pretty, devout girl you’ve been seeing at daily mass?
3) Holding Hands during the Our Father
b) I hate it, find it intrusive and wish people would stop doing it.
This seems to have taken on new levels, too. It’s like people have added to it, now elevating their hands during the “For the Kingdom and the power…” bit. I just close my eyes and clasp my hands in front of me.
4) Ushers during Communion. They don’t do this at any parish I’ve been to, so I answered:
b) Please, God, don’t give them ideas!
August 1st, 2005 at 12:12 pm
1) a
2) c
3) b
4) if they don’t, b
August 1st, 2005 at 12:50 pm
“talking with our daughter is not like talking with a neighboring pew person.”
–I’m sorry Robert, but I have to say that I think it is WORSE than talking to a “neighboring pew person.” Not only is the sound of your voices and activity of speaking disturbing to those around you, but you are teaching your daughter that it is OK to talk in church.
–Crying babies is one thing, because that is what they do, and everyone loves, or should love, babies. But any child old enough to talk is old enough to be taught to be respectful in church, to not play with toys, to not jump up and down, and to not have discussions immediately before or after Mass. Parents don’t need to be church-nazis, but they should tell (teach) their children to be quiet, sit still, and respect Jesus.
August 1st, 2005 at 1:01 pm
“how many of us single folks have intentionally sat next to or near an attractive MOS in order to give him/her the sign of peace? I actually try not to, as it can distract me from the reason for being at Mass, but I have to admit to having done it a few times.”
Checking out the hot chicks at Mass is one thing csprague, but I do think you go too far when you slip them your phone number and stroke their hands during the sign of peace. And patting their rear-ends is absolutely going too far!
August 1st, 2005 at 1:14 pm
1) A few minutes before Mass begins, are you:
b) talking to a neighbor
2) Sign of Peace:
c) I don’t love it or hate it.
3) Holding Hands during the Our Father
a) I love it - it’s so unifying
4) The Ushers at your parish DO or DO NOT greet you and shake your hand as you are exiting your pew for Communion:
c) I don’t really care
August 1st, 2005 at 1:54 pm
1. Before Mass, I am (c) - sitting quietly.
2. Sign of peace - dislike it intensely. I usually try to sit in a sparsely populated area of the church so I don’t have to shake hands with anyone. And nobody had better try and hug me.
3. Holding hands during the Our Father - hate it with a passion (b). Even worse than the Sign of Peace. If I’m sitting too near hand-holders, I keep my hands folded and my eyes straight ahead.
4. Our ushers direct traffic at Communion time (indicating which rows can go forward, and when) but do not greet or shake hands at that time. Which is fine. And no, don’t give ‘em any ideas.
August 1st, 2005 at 2:03 pm
Before Mass:
c)sit quietly
Sign of Peace:
c)I don’t hate it, I don’t love it. Of course it helps if you speak the language.
August 1st, 2005 at 2:06 pm
Pardon my last comment, gotta love a 2yr old who knows how to use a mouse button. Just scary that.
Before Mass:
c)sit quietly
Sign of Peace:
c)I don’t hate it, I don’t love it. Of course it helps if you speak the language.
Holding hands and the Our Father:
a) love it, wish the churches in Germany here where I’m at did it.
4 and 5 I can answer with only one answer. It would help if we had ushers so I could form a like or dislike of it.
August 1st, 2005 at 2:36 pm
1) Either a or c, praying or sitting quietly. How often in the world do we get to sit quietly anymore?
2) SOP, I enjoy it but it does interrupt the flow. Makes sense to me to move it to the beginning, before Mass actually starts.
3) Holding hands for Our Father. Not many people do that in my church. I think it’s a nice gesture.
4)Ushers greeting people as they go to Communion? Yuckk!! Please let me have my quiet/sacred space for Communion!
August 1st, 2005 at 5:11 pm
1. a) or c), depending on how well I slept the night before (if I’m a little out of it, I save my brainmeats for concentrating on the liturgy)
2. d) I love it, and look forward to being forced to stretch myself and extend a sign of the peace God has given me. It’s not really for greeting, as I don’t say anything other than “peace be with you” and after a year I still don’t know my normal pew-neighbors’ names.
3. a)
4. the ushers at my parish aren’t next to the pews when we’re exiting the pews for Communion - were they to be there, though, I’d not want them to be greeting me
August 1st, 2005 at 11:03 pm
[...] The Anchoress has a poll for Catholics to take, and while reading through other peoples’ responces, I found that I am in a very small minority on The Sign of Peace…in fact…I would venture to say, that I am probably one of the very few who likes it. [...]
August 2nd, 2005 at 9:50 am
An Aside to Bender B., author of comment number 19, which is a response to my comment number 10.
We whisper, my daughter and I. We’re REAL quiet. Sometimes I say things to her like “Ssshhh!” with a very soft hushing noise.
Thank you for sharing though. The Peace of Christ be with you!
August 2nd, 2005 at 12:34 pm
I wasn’t going to comment; I’m in the minority. I can’t stop thinking about the poll, so I got back on the computer to follow through.
I sit quietly after kneeling in prayer.
I think it necessary to say the phrase and shake or nod and smile to all whom will share the meal at the Banquet table. Especially strangers I will probably never see again. During winter months, we are asked not to shake hands because of the spread of germs, but to offer peace in some way. I like it. It’s community. As to the flow of the Mass, I’ve never known any different, I like the flow just fine.
Holding hands is a familiarity gesture and since we are brothers and sisters in Christ… My own children sometimes hate to hold hands with their siblings, but it’s a symbol of unity, to forget difficulties of the present and join together for the greater and better goodness of our family.
We have no ushers, but *b* would be my answer. See, I can draw the line somewhere :)!!
August 3rd, 2005 at 7:50 pm
Okay… I can see I’m going to be the heretic here!
1.) Before Mass–talking to a neighbor, if we actually get to Church before Mass. I am also guilty of talking after Mass as I’m heading out the door.
2.) Sign of Peace–I love it, although it can get out of hand. I hug Hubs & kids & any close friends. With others I just shake hands. Our new pastor reminded us at EM training that we were to do the Kiss of Peace before we came to the altar. The Altar Servers have also been told they are NOT to leave the altar during the Sign of Peace.
3.) Holding Hands during the Our Father–I like it. After all, it’s OUR Father, not just My Father. I’m reminded that celebrating the Mass is a community affair, not just an individual one.
4.) Ushers greeting before Communion–Ushers should greet people on the way IN to Mass and on the way out. During Communion, I appreciate when they direct traffic or when they alert the EMs to communicants with special needs. I do not want them talking–I’m focusing on receiving the Body and Blood of Christ and trying to prayerfully sing the Communion hymn.
I’m probably this way b/c I remember when there was NO interaction during Mass. Many just sat there, saying their rosary or reading their missal, not acknowledging anyone around them. Frankly, I don’t miss those days.