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February 14, 2006Birdshot, Vice Presidents and Strategeries - UPDATEDMy email box is loaded down with hysterical emails about Mr. Whittington’s heart attack. We should certainly keep him in our prayers. The general tone of the emails is, “oh my God!” Well - it certainly does complicate things. Should Mr. Whittington die, Vice-President Cheney could conceivably be charged with involuntary manslaughter in which case he would clearly have to resign his office. A quick look around the more demented blogs indicates that there is a contingent out there suggesting that all of this is a Rovian plot to either: 1) silence Scooter Libby by intimidation (that is the looniest of the ideas…) There is enormous paranoia on the left, hyperventilating fear on the right and discreet-but-giddy jubilation from some of the truly sad people on the left and perhaps in the press - all because of a hunting accident and an “asymptomatic heart attack.” Best case scenario: Mr. Whittington recovers and lives a long life. Even if he dies of natural causes five years from now, though, some will call for Dick Cheney to be indicted for manslaughter. Middling scenario: Mr. Whittington recovers, but David Gregory never gets over not getting a press release handed to him and spends the next year alternately weeping and hectoring Scott McClellen like a sexually frustrated fishwife. Provoked beyond endurance, McClellen leaps over his podium, picks up Helen Thomas by the ankles and begins to throttle Gregory with her. This does not end well. Of course, there is another possibility, but it is a wicked, wicked one, full of Machiavellian shadings: Name John McCain as Veep. That would be an utter triangulation of the press, and the Democrats, and even the Clintons. The press - which routinely gushes about McCain the Maverick could only hail it as a “good” thing, even if they don’t want to. The Democrats, for whom McCain is the ultimate “bi-partisan” Republican, could only hail it as good. And certainly McCain, who loves the cameras, covers and glory, would love to be called Mr. Vice-President-and-presumptive-nominee. How does that hurt the Clintons, you ask? There is a theory out there that Hillary and McCain, who are palsy, have an agreement in the works whereby McCain runs for president, does not get the nomination and then surfaces as a third-party candidate in ‘08. Aided by the party split (ala 1992), Hillary wins the presidency and names McCain as SecDef. But I don’t hold to that theory. I think the McCain/Hillary friendship portends a much more sophisticated plan, one that would be blown to bits should McCain become Bush’s veep. In a nutshell - what does McCain love and crave? Glory and praise and honor. What does Hillary love and crave? Power. Sick of a polarized and partisan nation? Sick of a beltway that can get NOTHING done, because of obstruction and partisan hectoring? Sick of a press that cannot focus on the “real issues” because they are so busy hating one side and loving the other? Well, we’ve got the solution, the handy-dandy UNIFIED NATION TICKET of John McCain and Hillary Clinton! They’re strong on defense! He’s pro-life, she’s pro-choice! He’s personable, she’s practical! The “international community” loves them both! America can be loved again! Yayyyy! It’s not so far-fetched. Give John McCain three years of the presidency (Hillary has shown us that she is nothing if not patient) and then have him step aside for his veep, Hillary. He gets to be called “Mr. President” for the rest of his life (books, interviews and cameras galore) and to belong to the most exclusive club in the world, the ex-US president’s club. She gets to be the “first female president of the US” - something to which she seems to have long aspired or felt entitled to - and she gets to run for TWO FULL TERMS as president, from a position of incumbancy. This is a scenario that gives both of these people precisely the thing they want. Naming McCain to the vice-presidency now doesn’t actually shoot the idea to bits…but it does make it more difficult, as McCain’s “need” for Hillary would be materially reduced. So…having explored all possible outcomes - let us pray for the full and complete recovery of Mr. Whittington, that he might have a long, healthy life and see his children’s children’s children! UPDATE I: Matteo at Cartago Delenda Est has an audio snippet of Rush Limbaugh paraphrasing a bit of this piece on yesterday’s show. Pretty funny. I haven’t figured out if Limbaugh is using it because he thinks I am kookey or funny, but that’s okay. Imagine that - El Rushbo actually knows of the existance of l’il ol’ me! Perhaps that came about thanks to this. My l’il bro Thom says upon listening to it, he believes Limbaugh is counting me among the oddballs with too much time on their hands. Perhaps. I’ve been called worse! UPDATE II: Peggy Noonan seems to be thinking along similar lines. http://theanchoressonline.com/2006/02/14/birdshot-vice-presidents-and-strategeries/trackback/ 32 Responses to “Birdshot, Vice Presidents and Strategeries - UPDATED” |
February 14th, 2006 at 5:22 pm
I have often thought of Helen Thomas as a battle-ax, but this post brings a whole new dimension to the image. Downright poetic. I love it.:-)
February 14th, 2006 at 5:22 pm
I disagree, dear Anchoress, about the worst-cast scenario. I agree that it would be awful if Mr. Whittingham died, but the incident has been ruled an accident. Some reports suggest that Mr. Whittingham himself was at fault. Even if he should die (heaven forbid), I don’t see why VP Cheney would be charged or have to resign.
February 14th, 2006 at 6:26 pm
Not to put too fine a point on it, David Gregory is a vindictive moron. He’s been casting about for a way to take revenge on the Bush Administration ever since President Bush humiliated him in public.
That’s the press corps for you.
February 14th, 2006 at 7:23 pm
Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too.
“McClellen leaps over his podium, picks up Helen Thomas by the ankles and begins to throttle Gregory with her. This does not end well.”
My own, limited imagination failed to have McClellen pick up Helen Thomas — good thing I had no coffee in my hands.
McCain will need to be bribed somehow to avoid being the Pres. nominee or to run alone — I see him as most likely VP in 2008. But I like Condi better.
February 14th, 2006 at 7:40 pm
Should Mr. Whittington die, Vice-President Cheney could conceivably be charged with involuntary manslaughter in which case he would clearly have to resign his office.
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Not bloody likely in the Texas I know and love, whatever the Vice-President’s negligent culpability may have been.
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The incident has already been ruled an accident.
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Would it be so already if money and power were not involved? Also not bloody likely.
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That is the shame of it. That has always been the shame of it. And the shame of it is the only reason to even bother to notice the incident.
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I don’t know Dick Cheney personally, so I really don’t know what he might “love and crave”–be it glory, praise, honor, power, or merely quail for dinner. Such insights into the heart’s depths of the political talking heads on TV are beyond me.
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But I am fairly certain that accidentally shooting a friend, and maybe killing him, is as much a personal tragedy for Cheney as it would be for me, and that it will be standing behind his shoulder, whenever he looks in the mirror, for the rest of his life.
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The shame is also that so few now can understand such things about the people with whom they politically disagree. There are days when I think I could count those who on my hands by keeping them closed in my pockets.
February 14th, 2006 at 9:35 pm
Good post, Joe. Humbling, but good.
February 14th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
Joseph,
You must have forgotten about that loose cannon leftist D.A. that indicted Tom DeLay on trumped up charges. It wouldn’t necessarily be anything that would stick, but I think that bone-head D.A. would indict him just to make hay.
February 14th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
How could it have been ruled anything but an accident since the VP didn’t know the guy was there and didn’t take direct aim at him to kill him? It was an accident, and I feel sorry for the victim as well as the VP. I pray Mr. Whittington recovers and the VP will not carry this burden of guilt the rest of his life.
February 14th, 2006 at 11:46 pm
This incident could never result in a manslaughter conviction - unless Mrs. Armstrong is lying about Mr. Whittington walking up on the right of the last man on the line: Mr. Cheney. My instinct is that neither Mrs. Armstrong, nor Mr. Cheney, would countenance such a dishonorable lie.
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I’ve quail hunted quite a few times, and I would never, ever, walk up on a fellow hunter like that. Hunters on a line take constant notice of their field of fire. Mr. Cheney believed he had a completely free field of fire to his front and his right.
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I’ve heard it said
“Both were probably at fault. One must always know where one is shooting, and what is behind the target.”
That is completely ridiculous. The people who said that have never hunted. When you are sighting a bird with a gun, you must ferociously focus in on the moving, even zigging or zagging, target. You cannot simultaneously focus on your peripheral vision and on your moving target. This is why quail hunters are always very conscious of their field of possible fire. When they are focusing in on the moving target, they will not recognize things on the periphery.
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Corpus Christi is a country sensibility type of city. People who would make up any jury will understand hunting. If Mr. Whittington improbably dies, it’s difficult to imagine Mr. Cheney being charged with manslaughter, as the chances of conviction would very nearly be zero.
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By coincidence, I returned today from spending two weeks in Corpus Christi. The people there are quietly proud their city is receiving national publicity - though they can’t say it out loud (much!) - as it would be disrespectful of Mr. Whittington’s plight.
February 14th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
Also, the Hillary/McCain ticket also occurred to me. I don’t want to think about it much, as it will surely induce indigestion. For now, I prefer the comfort of denial. Your scenario of McCain stepping down after three years is brilliantly creative. I don’t think Hillary could trust McCain to step down. I actually don’t think Hillary and McCain would make such a step-down agreement. But they definitely might make a joint ticket agreement. And they definitely might insinuate such an agreement to increase each of their leverages within each of their parties.
February 15th, 2006 at 1:49 am
I just realized the shooting happened in Kleburg County, and that any jury pool would be drawn from there. All of Kleburg county has a population of 31,500 people, with 25,000 of those massed in one town: Kingsville. This means a jury pool which completely understands hunting. It means there is even less chance of a manslaughter conviction than I previously thought - and I already thought there was virtually no chance.
February 15th, 2006 at 12:52 pm
We must do something…Hillary’s “troubled!” Maybe she saw that the news of Senate Democratic leader, Harry Reid’s stroke was delayed by her party’s officials for three days. Or she is have a flashback about her own Rose Law Firm billing records. Hard to say. So many “troubling” things in Hillary’s past. And so many centered on delays(no, not Tom).
February 15th, 2006 at 1:26 pm
gcotharn,
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I, too understand the Corpus and South TX area. I actually live here! People around here hunt and fish all the time. People around here know that accidents happen…
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But look for the kooks that live in Corpus who will demand Cheney’s head on a stick for this. There’s never a dull moment around here, even in such a silent city as this one.
February 15th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
I was trying to think, if VP Cheney did resign, for whatever reason, whom would the president pick and so perhaps give a head start as his successor in the wide-open ‘08 race?
Giuliani is too socially liberal for the base. (When his marriage broke up he fled to gay friends’ house; he’s now living “in sin” as far as I know.) My understanding is that McCain is cordially hated in GOP inner circles. You’re right that Condi is too valuable where she is. So?
February 15th, 2006 at 1:56 pm
And: when has there ever been a “unity ticket”? That just seems too non-kosher for even a pair of conniving mavericks to undertake.
February 15th, 2006 at 2:45 pm
This post is a classic!
OK, onwards. In fact, if Whittingdon expires and there is a huge anti Bush/Cheney backlash, look for the other side to talk Chappaquiddick.
The mistake the GOP made was the ‘gentleman’s agreement’ to give Teddy a free ride. They got nothing back.
Payback’s a bitch.
February 15th, 2006 at 2:51 pm
Let’s re-classify news gathering and distribution under “maufacturing” in the SIC classification system. At least that way the nation benefits somewhat.
I’d like to see Ms Rice become VP, and Bush to step down(time off for a job well done) before the Republican National Convention so that Condi runs as the incumbent. That way she would enter the history books as our first female president. And Hillary’s head would explode. Win/win is good.
February 15th, 2006 at 2:54 pm
Election ‘08 — A Blogger’s Nightmare Scenario
I have nightmarish delusions sometimes, or at least like to pretend that I do so that I can write oddball rants, but today the Anchoress beats anything I can dream up about the repercussions of VP Cheney’s accidental shooting of his hunting partner, M…
February 15th, 2006 at 8:54 pm
The sad irony is that we have all supposed that if Cheney would leave before his term was up, it would be because of his own heart problems, not somebody else’s.
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Nonetheless, the idea that Cheney would not make it though 2 terms is not a new one. The Bush adminstration had to have a “what if” scenario in place years ago. I just hope it doesn’t reach that point.
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The shame is also that so few now can understand such things about the people with whom they politically disagree. There are days when I think I could count those who on my hands by keeping them closed in my pockets
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Excellent point, Joseph. And I’m guilty of it too. It’s becoming harder and harder to keep from crossing the line which separates sharp, but legitimate criticism from demonization of the “enemy.” One of the reasons I like Peggy Noonan is that she can be critical and cutting, but always seems to retain a sense of her opponents’ humanity. That’s becoming a rarity in public discourse.
February 15th, 2006 at 9:27 pm
Some of your post was read by Limbaugh today near the beginning of the third hour…
February 15th, 2006 at 10:39 pm
I like Mark Steyn’s take:
Already, NBC’s David Gregory, the George Clooney of the press corps, has been huffin’ an’ a-puffin’ all over the TV demanding answers - multiple answers - about why he had to wait 18 hours to hear about the accident. Who cares? A “sinister cover-up” has to boil down to more than not giving David Gregory a press release. And, given that the media’s spent the last two weeks telling the public why they don’t need to see these Danish cartoons, it’s hard to take them seriously as sudden converts to the public’s right to know every detail, if only when it comes to minor hunting accidents.
February 16th, 2006 at 12:56 am
I second what Matteo said. I heard Rush talking about the case scenarios from your post, Anchoress.
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I immediately stopped doing what I was doing and called Jeanette to tell her.
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You made it to the BIG LEAGUES, woman! Enjoy it!
February 16th, 2006 at 1:15 am
[...] The Anchoress posted something that made it to the BIG Leagues in relation to the whole Cheney huntin’ accident looney-palooza! [...]
February 16th, 2006 at 2:09 am
Look, I think everyone on the left and on the right is taking this entirely too seriously. The important thing is that he had a heart attack on Valentine’s Day. How cute is that?
February 16th, 2006 at 12:21 pm
Misogynist, :lol:!
February 16th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
The audio of Limbaugh reading The Anchoress is now available at:
http://cartagodelenda.blogspot.com/2006/02/anchoress-gets-read-on-rush-limbaugh.html
February 16th, 2006 at 3:44 pm
Darrell, #17:
LOL at the mental image of Hillary’s head exploding. Kind of like the Claymation Boxing matches. How do we convince GWB and Condi to go along with this?
February 16th, 2006 at 5:55 pm
It greatly perturbs when I transmit incorrect information, so I must, in greatly perturbed fashion, make a SECOND correction in this comments thread:
The hunting accident did not occur in Nueces County, home of Corpus Christi, where Mr. Whittingham currently stays in Crispus Spohn Hospital.
Neither did the accident occur in Kleburg County, where Mr. Whittingham was originally transported to a hospital in Kingsville - pop. approx. 25,000, before being helicoptered to Corpus Christi.
The accident occurred in Kenedy County, which is the fourth least populated county in the U.S. From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenedy_County,_Texas:
Kenedy County is a county located in the state of Texas. As of 2000, the population is 414. Its county seat is Sarita(Greg’s note: pop. approx 200), and the county is named for Mifflin Kenedy, an early rancher in the area. Kenedy County has the distinction of being the fourth smallest county (by population) in the United States
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As of the census2 of 2000, there are 414 people, 138 households, and 110 families residing in the county.
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It’s pretty easy to see how the Armstrongs could call the Sheriff and make arrangements for him to come out on Sunday morning to interview witnesses, including Mr. Cheney. Which is what happened. In hindsight, it may not have been the best course of action. However, it’s easy to see how, on Saturday night, after Mr. Whittington’s ambulance had left the ranch, and with everyone at the ranch somewhat shook up, that speaking to the press and the Sheriff the following morning would seem like the perfectly logical and reasonable thing to do.
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Remember, also, things are spread pretty far apart in a county of 410 people. The sheriff, receiving a phone call (at his home? while helping dry the dinner dishes?) on a Saturday night, might have been many miles from the Armstrong ranch. Common sense and courtesy ruled the night. Unfortunately, the Dems and the Washington press corps are devoid of both.
February 16th, 2006 at 8:47 pm
I have giggled inwardly and even laughed out loud when only my hubby was around over all this hullabaloo about delaying notifying the press until the next morning. I work in healthcare and you can no longer release the name or medical condition of any accident victim to the press without their (or their family’s) permission. Mr. Whittington’s family had better things to do Saturday evening/night than decide how much press they wanted to put with.
Now, everyone in that hunting party may not be covered by HIPAA laws, but the VP’s medical team is because they provided the emergency care in the field and by extension the VP’s Office had to maintain Mr. Whittington’s privacy because that’s who employs that particular medical team.
Mrs. Armstrong probably wouldn’t have violated the law by revealing Mr. Whittington’s name; however, it’s common courtesy not to bring the Washington Press Corps down on an accident victim without giving him and his family time to get ready for the onslaught. It was overnight, people, get over it and get on with NEW news.
February 17th, 2006 at 2:23 am
Don’t worry, gcotharn! I can get confused, too!
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Kenedy County - home of Falfurrias, Sarita, and probably the loneliest stretch of land I ever had to cross on a car - is quite unpopulated. When Hurricane Bret made landing over there in 1999, there were little news of human losses, or property damage.
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There’s nothing much over there, that’s right. And if anyone needs good health care in a hurry, a helicopter ride to Corpus Christi makes plenty of sense.
February 24th, 2006 at 4:34 pm
[...] Go Read! [...]
February 24th, 2006 at 4:42 pm
[...] Today, Rush paraphrased and quoted from The Anchoress’ post Birdshot, Vice Presidents and Strategeries. On part he quoted was this: Middling scenario: Mr. Whittington recovers, but David Gregory never gets over not getting a press release handed to him and spends the next year alternately weeping and hectoring Scott McClellen like a sexually frustrated fishwife. Provoked beyond endurance, McClellen leaps over his podium, picks up Helen Thomas by the ankles and begins to throttle Gregory with her. This does not end well. [...]